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I owe my soul to the company store…
Next stop, severance minus the outie part.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I started reading this thinking it was satire, and after it just kept going did I realize that this was serious, and not just some long-form ribbing.
We really need a term opposite to “eat the onion”.
I really shat the yam on that one.
I don’t know. I think the opposite of an onion would be an orange not a yam.
Well the opposite of eat would be barf, so, “horked the orange”?
Edit: a word
That works
I thought horking was snorting. Huh. I wonder whether that’s ever led to communication issues.
And pay them with company specific crypto they can spend in the company store.
You push 16 branches, and what do you Git?
Another day older and more tech debt
@saint_peter don’t you page me, 'cause I crashed the repo----
I owe my soul
to the bezostore
Corporations: “We will literally do anything to avoid giving our employees dedicated workspace where they can do their job uninterrupted.”
Company towns coming back as company apartments.
Sure, let me take a dump on your desk too.
Why not cut this slippery slope crap and just go straight to slavery?
they stopped themselves from being literally The Onion just in time
I find it hard to believe he’d just table the idea at that point.
After the employees realise it’s just slaves
Slaves are more expensive since you have to treat them as capital.
Nah, you generally can depreciate capitalized assets /s
Only if they’re regulated. Or if salaried workers have any rights, since you could otherwise just conspire with other companies to push salaries down, ensuring
“free” slavescollaborating individual entrepreneurs are cheaper
“No, no, no, it’s not a company town… it’s a company tower… which is completely different. By the way, did you meet Brian? He’s the new manager of the convenience store the company opened in the lobby. It’s right next to the company elementary school. You can use the company issued script to buy stuff there, it’s great!”
I’m sure it was your autocorrect, but for anyone who doesn’t know it, the term is “scrip” :)
Wait, I should type :( because it’s a very depressing concept.
It happens, sometimes, if you’re hiring someone to work in a remote location. Oil rig workers, say.
No. They are absolutely desperate to get people to return to office aren’t they?
I’ve said it many times now. The workhouses are coming back.
SCP 001 : 05 the Factory
This reminds me of the Onion episode where the staff from two different car manufacturing plants fight for there jobs.
Why not let children live in womb ?
No, let them work from home.
That’s the idea.
When the office becomes the home, they are working from home.Do you want your office to be home?
No. I like having two different places for work stuff and not work stuff.
To actually address the question, it’s because commercial buildings don’t (generally) meet residential building code requirements, even if there’s a kitchenette and a shower, etc. They are simply not meant for the same purpose or to be occupied 24/7 unless they were engineered that way from the start, which is exceedingly rare. A lot of office buildings have floor-to-ceiling windows and complex HVAC systems simply to make sure people aren’t cold, breathing stale air, or too humid/dry, so they also use a lot of energy.
Also fire safety, if you have people sleeping in the building you need a much higher level of protection.
