I posted a good faith post about the angry posts coming out of WomensStuff, knowing I was breaking the community’s rules but it was a meta discussion about that rule itself. I guess I wasn’t going to be shocked to be banned there, but again, this was a good faith post that wasn’t trolling. Lots of men were chiming in about the subject itself.
I wake up to find I’ve been banned across multiple communities and servers, because the mods have updated to say, “My blood pressure too high rn.”
Is this was Lemmy actually is? Worse than Reddit because the rules are “fuzzy” and every mod can do whatever they want, because they’re having a bad day?
So you broke rules on purpose in a community for people who experience oppression and are upset when other communities have solidarity with that community and don’t want people who break rules on purpose in their space. Just because other people break rules doesn’t mean you should. Posting while knowingly breaking rules is not actually posting in good faith.
The rules aren’t fuzzy. These mods are trying to protect spaces for vulnerable people and see that you don’t respect those spaces. Seems pretty cut and dry. If you don’t like the way those communities are run, make your own.
Edit to add that additional context has been provided. Apparently the post in question was not a meta discussion and there was no indication that peoples opinions were being solicited. In fact it was a complaint about the way people react towards the community.
Well…
Atleast it’s still mildly infuriating for him/her.
Your comment wasn’t in a meta discussion; it was on a post where they were venting about people complaining about them having a women’s only space. There was certainly no indication that the regular community rules didn’t apply, nor any invitation for men to comment.
Commenting that it’s hostile for them to have a women’s only space might be ironic, but couldn’t possibly be good faith, in that context. And if the same mod banned you from multiple communities, then either it was out of line and you could appeal it, or it was warranted due to the perceived likelihood of you causing problems in those other communities and the perceived low likelihood of you contributing anything of value to them.
Even now, you’re acting like the mod(s) banned you because of her / their emotions. You don’t see how that’s misogynistic?
It makes logical sense for bad actors to be preemptively banned. Emotions have nothing to do with it.
Thank you so much for providing that context. It is so funny that they said that their original post is in good faith, when even this post describing the situation isn’t in good faith.
No leg to stand on if you aren’t providing the proof of what you said. We’re forced to side with the mod unless you can prove what you said wasn’t worth removing.
Well what did you post?
In the modlog for their ban, the reasons given are “Trolling and misogyny”, but iirc you can’t find deleted messages? So yeah.
I told them their “MEN DON’T POST HERE” posts on the frontpage are hostile, which is the reaction they got from a half dozen folks who were talking about the subject. I talked about my experience as a gay man, wanting more community here on Lemmy, but that I wouldn’t start communities or threads saying “NO STRAIGHT PEOPLE POST HERE” to do it. And I pointed out their community has decided there are only two ways to deal with it.
I get that I broke their rule, and I can be banned there for that - but they didn’t ban me for being a man, they banned me for hurting their feelings.
And now I can’t use LGBTQ and Trans communities as a result. OK, fuck turtlesareneat, he shouldn’t be allowed in queer communities cause he hurt a mod’s feelings.
I told them their “MEN DON’T POST HERE” posts on the frontpage are hostile, which is the reaction they got from a half dozen folks who were talking about the subject.
So what if it’s hostile to you? It’s their community. I see that community from time to time. Guess what. I don’t post there. I accept that it’s their space and their rules.
I talked about my experience as a gay man, wanting more community here on Lemmy, but that I wouldn’t start communities or threads saying “NO STRAIGHT PEOPLE POST HERE” to do it.
You don’t have to, but other people can if they want. If someone else did, I, as a straight person, wouldn’t post there. Because they asked me not to.
I get that I broke their rule, and I can be banned there for that - but they didn’t ban me for being a man, they banned me for hurting their feelings. And now I can’t use LGBTQ and Trans communities as a result. OK, fuck turtlesareneat, he shouldn’t be allowed in queer communities cause he hurt a mod’s feelings.
No, you didn’t get banned because you hurt their feelings. You got banned because you can’t follow rules. Other instances banned you because you’ve been shown that you can’t follow other instances’ rules.
This reads very heavily of “but I had to reply because they needed to hear my carefully-considered opinion.” NO. THEY. DON’T. They didn’t want to talk to you and you decided to barge in and tell them what you had to say because by god you needed to be heard.
If you don’t like or don’t want to see communities that don’t want you to participate, block them and move on. Whether or not they’re right isn’t really important if they’ve made it clear you’re unwelcome, doubly so if you’re going against their own rules. Appeal the others later, if that’s important to you.
specific communities can have their own rules so while a ban on that community is fair, using it to ban on unrelated communities is not. Definetly a PTB
deleted by creator
It really does seem like a rules for thee situation.
Mods and admins here are just regular people. They can ban you simply because they don’t like your username, and there’s not really anything you can do about it. It’s clearly not ideal, but I guess that’s just the nature of the Fediverse. On the other hand, you can make a new account in about two minutes and be unbanned - so there’s that.
I do sympathize with you. While I can’t read the deleted post, you said it was written in good faith, so I believe you. Like everyone else, you see issues in your environment - but unlike most people, you actually try to understand them and find solutions. And for that, you get nothing but pain. That’s something I find deeply relatable. It’s not unique to Lemmy, but it’s definitely a real problem on social media these days. Most people who comment just want to circlejerk, break things, and throw stones. They don’t want to hear criticism or engage in difficult conversations because their minds are already made up - there’s nothing to discuss. Everyone sees what happens to those who challenge the groupthink, so they don’t. They either knowingly self-censor or have deluded themselves to the point that they automatically agree with whatever narrative is popular. It’s like those experiments where you’re shown a paper with lines of different lengths, and one is clearly longer, but after hearing four other people say it isn’t, you end up agreeing with them despite what your own eyes are telling you.
I could go on and on about this. Thank god I get to meet and talk with regular people through my job - otherwise, I’d definitely think the fringe views I see overrepresented on social media are far more popular than they actually are. This whole social media thing is a messed-up psychological experiment being carried out on all of humanity - and no one ever consented to it. Now we’re just reaping what we sowed.
I posted elsewhere in this thread, but I don’t see how actively and knowingly posting while breaking the rules of a community is seen as posting in good faith. If they are soliciting opinions from their community, and you were not part of their community, then your opinion is not one they are looking for.
The people who made a woman only community are doing exactly what you think they should do. They are seeing the overwhelming hate being directed towards women in online spaces, and trying to create a space exclusively for women. You might not like that, but that is what they have chosen to do to fix what they see as an issue. I don’t see how you think OP is being the change he wants to see and that the mods are in the wrong. OP is not a woman and cannot speak to the female experience. Even within the female experience, plenty of people disagree. That’s why it’s great that there is plenty of space for other people to make their own communities. Going into a community that has made their stance clear, and is for people that regularly face hate and oppression, especially online, and deciding that is the big injustice you see in the world is certainly a choice. There are plenty of places and communities that openly spread hate not just for women, but for LGBT people of which OP says they are. Maybe they should spend time criticizing those spaces instead of picking on a group of already marginalized people who happen to have a single point of disagreement on how to run their space.
Edit to add that additional context has been provided. Apparently the post in question was not an meta discussion and there was no indication that peoples opinions were being solicited. In fact it was a complaint about the way people react towards the community.
OP said his post was about the angry posts coming from that community so that’s what I was commenting on.
I’m not trying to get into an argument here, and based on your one sentence response, it seems like you’re not either, but angry posts in general don’t mean anything. I see a lot of angry posts about healthcare or the government or the increasing descent into fascism, and if somebody commented on any of those that they didn’t like seeing it, I wouldn’t necessarily think that comment was productive. Posts are allowed to be angry because people are allowed to be angry. Especially about injustice and oppression, which I imagine a lot of the “angry posts” are actually about, considering it’s a community of marginalized people for marginalized people. Just something to think about.
Oh, I don’t mind an argument.
I agree that just making a post about not wanting to see that wouldn’t be productive - nobody cares what they want or don’t want, because this place isn’t made for them. But that’s also no less productive than the angry posts themselves. Simply complaining isn’t productive, and that applies to both examples.
However, discussing these topics and what to do about them is productive - as is engaging in a conversation about whether simply expressing anger serves any useful purpose. He acknowledged he was breaking the rules and was willing to get banned for it, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be frustrated when that also results in being banned from other communities whose rules he hadn’t actually broken. Especially when that comes with the misogynist-label which almost definitiely isn’t true.
But their comment objectively is less productive than the “angry posts”, because their comment was against the rules and deleted and not engaged with, whereas the “angry posts” are there for the community to engage with and offer sympathy and understanding and a place to vent. It’s a kind of weird martyr complex that nobody asked for. Oh, woe is me, I got banned for breaking the rules! Why even comment in the first place if you knew it was going to be deleted? Elsewhere someone provided context that they did not comment on a “Meta” post. It was just a post complaining about how people treat the community. It was not at all soliciting advice or external opinions. They then went out of their way to break the rules and essentially prove the post right. Essentially showing that they think they are above the rules and that their opinion deserves to be heard regardless of what the user or the mods or the community has already expressed. Saying he was somehow “starting a discussion” makes no sense considering he knew that he would get banned and his comment removed. That was neither the time nor place to start any kind of discussion, and quite frankly I don’t think somebody attempting to have a good faith discussion would have it in that manner. If a transphobe went into a trans space that explicitly did not allow transphobes, and made a comment lamenting that they can’t ask questions in that community, would you still feel similarly? They just “see a wrong” in the world and are trying to start a discussion about it. Or would you think that it is OK for some spaces to have rules that are not up for discussion, especially within that space?
He might not have known that he would be getting banned from other subs, but as a user of several subs, I fully support admins taking steps to block people who willingly break rules of other marginalized communities. I think reasonable minds can disagree on this last point, but blahaj is pretty famous for being strict with bans even if not on the community/instance in question and the users of that instance actually really like that. I don’t know if this will be escalated, or if the ban will even stay in place, but my understanding is that people like that instance specifically because the mods there are so vigilant.
My comment wasn’t meant to defend OP per se or claim he was treated unfairly. He knowingly broke a community rule and accepted the risk of being banned. I don’t see injustice there, and I even said that mods are just people and can do whatever they want - it’s part of how this place works, for better or worse.
What I was commenting on was the broader dynamic I see across Lemmy: the general negativity, hostility, and tribalism that seem to dominate the tone of this place. OP’s situation just happened to illustrate that vibe quite nicely. I wasn’t defending the specific post - just pointing out how quickly things escalate into labels, assumptions, and hostility, and how that seems to be the norm here.
I also take no issue with exclusive communities. One for just men would equally be fair game.
I guess this section seems to indicate otherwise: “Like everyone else, you see issues in your environment - but unlike most people, you actually try to understand them and find solutions. And for that, you get nothing but pain.”
But I will take you at your word that you were more commiserating than directly agreeing. The internet in general is leading to more tribalism, sure, but I’m not seeing it any more on Lemmy than I am elsewhere. Mostly seeing it as it relates to politics. Would you mind sharing where you’re seeing that? Have you noticed specific communities or instances or topics? I follow a variety of content and it’s mostly pretty chill people with some political vitriol sprinkled in for novelty sake.
