My diagnosis is simply dismissed. Neither of my parents, now in their 60s and 70s, believe it. They think I’m making it up for attention. I’m 43…I’ve kind of just given up at this point. I could show them my chart and it would make zero difference. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and all that, there’s just large parts of who I am that they blatantly refuse to accept. I can’t be queer, I can’t have adhd, etc. It saddens me a bit sometimes.

I love this.

Was raised in an AofG church until around 12 when my parents abruptly switched to the Catholic church. Altar calls, Jesus camp every summer, youth ministry, speaking in tongues etc. I’ve spent countless hours in therapy unpacking the religious trauma, not only from being raised in it, but from the familial backlash when I walked away from religion entirely.

These places are cesspools of hypocrisy, hatred, and abuse. Despite all the work and healing I’ve done around it, I’m still quietly triggered by this brand of Christianity in particular and any brand of evangelism in general. I distrust anyone who identifies as a member, it’s an immediate repulsion for me.

I work with some folks who are deep into these types of churches and it takes all my grit to maintain composure when they say shit that I instantly recognize as on brand. It disturbs me that countless children are exposed to the ignorance, brainwashing, and blind hatred that are integral to these groups.

It’s a great question, I don’t know if there was one main driver. I think I’d hit a wall in a way. I was tired of spending the money, the time, tired of the repetitive necessity of needing something to feel ok. Also, I had some house projects piling up. It was way easier to come home and smoke and do nothing so nothing was getting done. I guess I hit a sort of rock bottom of motivation and general exhaustion.

The first two weeks or so were really hard, not gonna sugar coat that truth, it truly did suck. It also took over a month to get back to somewhat decent sleep without assistance. I used valerian root and magnisum oil to get me through that first month and a half.

I focused on a lot of self-care, tried to eat really nutritious food, went for walks, started a daily journaling practice to try and quiet the mind. Used the supplements to get the best rest I could and tried to cultivate the patience I’d figured I’d need. Cliché I know, but I really did try to take it one day at a time.

I wish I had a better answer, maybe it was just time for me. Like I said, everyone is different and I’m no prophet of sobriety or anything. It just happened to turn out that sobriety works best for me and my mind. The freedom is my favorite part though, I can just go about my life without needing something or planning around something, sounds silly but it’s such a relief for me. I can just be.

Was a daily smoker for almost two decades and would defend my usage to anyone who suggested it could be a source of discontent in my life. I kicked the booze habit 10 years ago, kicked nicotine a few years after that, but held onto bud for a long time.

I’m almost 4 months sober now from thc and, while the first 1.5 months were shit cause of sleep issues and general system regulation, I’m so happy to be on the other side of it. It started out as tea break, I had some projects I kept putting off and thought I could reset my tolerance and get some motivation at the same time. But now that I’m several months deep, I’m not going back. My life has improved so much, in both minor and major ways.

Every person is different and it’s not my place to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do regarding substance intake. All I can say is, as someone who was dedicated to a substance supported existence for the majority of my adult life, I am definitely, without a doubt, my best self as a sober human.

I’ve always associated the term with the online dating arena. However, I’ve lost touch with people after moving cities, or having various life changes occur (sobriety etc.), is that ghosting? I’ve had to go no contact with a few ex partners and friends for mental health and safety purposes, is that ghosting? I have adhd inattentive and occasionally respond in my head to a text message but unintentionally fail to respond in actuality, is that ghosting?

The definition seems to depend on the recipient to a large degree. A lot of folks here are saying “you have to communicate or it’s cruel/cowardly/sociopathic”(yikes to that last one btw). Well, I recently had to end a friendship and I communicated to them, as kindly and as clearly as I could, that things had run their course. I did not ignore them or suddenly cut them off, I communicated. They didn’t like what I had to say, and went a little bonkers, so I blocked them and now their story is that I ghosted them. Idk, it seems to be a slippery term in my experience.

I’ve never felt offended by someone losing touch with me or by getting busy with life etc. Life happens, things and people change, it seems natural to me that a lot of relationships have expiration dates to various degrees. The only times I’ve had people aburptly end communication with me was when I’d said or done something egregious and I don’t fault them for it. That only happened back in my drinking days, I’ve not had it happen since getting sober ten years ago. In my experience, which is by no means universal, if someone abruptly cuts you off, it may be time to take a step back and examine your behavior and/or expectations. And if it turns out they were just a shit person, then let them ghost, good riddance.

I “watch” history documentaries on YouTube while I do chores but that’s about it. We don’t even have a TV in the downstairs of our house, though my husband has one in his office for gaming. I’m a book worm and prefer books and podcasts. I do love playing some Skyrim or COD Zombies etc., mostly in the winter though, nice weather=yard work or gardening projects.

For any fellow history nerds out there, People’s Profiles on YouTube is one of my favorites. Long form, contains imagery but no reenactments, it is essentially a podcast with decoration, and they even group together biographies into massive 4 hour+ videos for those “omg, this is gonna take me forever” cleaning/house projects.

Feeling blessed that this is basically my life, except I do have to go to pesky work Mon-Fri. And work is work, I’d always rather be home, but in the grand scheme of jobs, I have one where I’m challenged and get to learn new things with a decent group of humans on my team and good work/life balance so, yeah, feeling blessed for sure.

About to be 43 and more grateful every year that my partner and I are childfree. I like hanging out with my friend’s kids occasionally, they can be funny tiny humans, but I hit a limit quickly and we invariably share a sigh of relief once we’re in the car on our way home.

I’m also grateful that there are folks who love kids and are great, involved parents to them. I’m in awe of my friend’s ability to be the mom she is and I appreciate her efforts to better the collective group of humanity by two. Even more grateful that I was free to make a different choice. It takes all kinds, ya know? And kids benefit from unofficial “aunties”, I think.

My heebs! They jeeb!

I literally had no idea who he was until the campus videos of the shooting hit Lemmy. I’m in the US but don’t regularly follow US media sources because gestures vaguely. Lemmy is also my only social media at this point, everything else has been deleted, so when something pops up here, I go digging through the Guardian or El Pais to get an idea of what’s going on.

I will say, I had the absolute delight of taking all the wind out of my deeply religious and conservative coworkers sails by innocently asking, “who’s Charlie Kirk?”, when they were discussing a moment of silence idea and a poem one of them wrote about him. Of course I knew who he was at that point, but I enjoy being an agent of chaos in a small southern town lol (send help!).

5 years! We’re not really sure of the exact date cause ADHD² lol we go with October cause shopping for Halloween decorations was our first date 🎃

The grammar makes my brain itch a bit, “every premarital sex”? How many premarital sexes are there? And where do they hang out so I can make sure I…totally never hang out with them lol

Fabrics, pattern drafting, and sewing techniques. Historical clothing and corsetry. History, soooo much history. Religious movements, belief systems, and paradigms. Language, writing, and literature. Plants and gardening. Birds and bugs. Tea and tisanes. Houses, their interior systems and construction, renovating them, maintaining them, and hacking their unique quirks and issues.

I’m bi because I have all the symptoms, finger guns, awkward puns, can’t sit in chairs properly, require at least three beverages at any given moment etc.

Also, the flag has all my favorite colors.

Also, I could just be old? Lol

To be honest, a person’s gender and/or genitalia are easily the least interesting things about them to me. I tend to feel sexual attraction only after establishing connections with people, which I believe has another name, demisexual. However, throughout my life I have dated men, women, nonbinary folks, folks who had no idea how to define themselves, etc.

My current partner is a man, but if he came to me today and told me he was trans and wanted to start living as a woman, I wouldn’t bat an eyelash. If he wanted to get fake tits but keep his dick, also don’t care. I love him, and “he” is so much more than his body. It makes perfect sense in my head and that’s all that really matters I guess.

I’ve had friends argue with me that “you’re actually pan!” but the word doesn’t personally resonate with me. Anyway, I find most of the discourse around labels slightly reactionary and/or virtue signally, “I’m a true queer/queerer than you!”, type shit. Pick your favorite color flag and go have (consensual) fun!

80s baby who was always told “you just don’t try hard enough”. Sitting in my messy house, with two leaks that need to be addressed, having just been promoted for the second time in a year and feeling very called out.

I set aside 20 minutes in the morning to journal. It’s become sacred to me. It helps me clear my head and set my focus for the day.

Explaining would destroy the mystery which would be uncool since they’ve been working so carefully on building it.

I am always reading one of Jarod K Anderson’s collections of poems and I recommend them to everyone.

Currently reading, “The Bullet Swallower” by Elizabeth James García. Yes, I would recommend it to any fans of magical realism and/or Cormac McCarthy.

Last book I read was “The Mirror and the Light” by Hilary Mantel. I would recommend it only to history nerds like me lol

Sheesh, I must have missed the memo where caretaking a family member required making it your entire personality. Hope you and your family member are doing ok.

As a team lead who is in the process of hiring for three separate positions, I would treat any applicant who insisted on the transferability of their clearly unrelated skills as a “not a good fit” candidate. I get the importance of soft skills, and I value those, but to maintain that a caretaker can seamlessly fit into basically any job role with just a little imagination is disingenuous and a little embarrassing. I’m looking for concrete skills, not spin. By all means, put your best foot forward, just don’t wear clown shoes while you do it.