To be fair, especially to parents I get the part of grieving of someone you love not being there anymore. But if that person isn’t really dead but just a different (better) version of the person, I don’t really get how you can believe you are greaving while you’re simultaneously not keeping that person close to you? I mean, that will only make the loss worse, right?
But I think that’s not a weird thing for a parent (not saying it is normal to not want to speak to your child because they are different then you expected, or to dislike them for being who they were born to be).
Yeah, the phenomenon isn’t unique to trans people if viewed through the lens of expectations for their child. It just takes on a much more extreme reaction/framing when transphobia is involved.
I don’t begrudge my mom for feeling sad about realizing I’m not who she wanted me to be, but those aren’t feelings you should voice to your child who is already struggling.
No totally fair, it’s not your fault she had those expectations as well. Any parent should be supportive of their child and I agree you are not the one she should bother with those feelings. Wish you the best.
To be fair, especially to parents I get the part of grieving of someone you love not being there anymore. But if that person isn’t really dead but just a different (better) version of the person, I don’t really get how you can believe you are greaving while you’re simultaneously not keeping that person close to you? I mean, that will only make the loss worse, right?
They’re grieving the loss of who they expected their kid to be
But I think that’s not a weird thing for a parent (not saying it is normal to not want to speak to your child because they are different then you expected, or to dislike them for being who they were born to be).
Yeah, the phenomenon isn’t unique to trans people if viewed through the lens of expectations for their child. It just takes on a much more extreme reaction/framing when transphobia is involved.
I don’t begrudge my mom for feeling sad about realizing I’m not who she wanted me to be, but those aren’t feelings you should voice to your child who is already struggling.
No totally fair, it’s not your fault she had those expectations as well. Any parent should be supportive of their child and I agree you are not the one she should bother with those feelings. Wish you the best.