To this day, she remembers the racing thoughts, the instant nausea, the hairs prickling up on her legs, the sweaty palms. She had shared a photograph of herself in her underwear with a boy she trusted and, very soon, it had been sent around the school and across her small home town, Aberystwyth, Wales. She became a local celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Younger kids would approach her laughing and ask for a hug. Members of the men’s football team saw it – and one showed someone who knew Davies’s nan, so that’s how her family found out.

Her book, No One Wants to See Your D*ck, takes a deep dive into the negatives. It covers Davies’s experiences in the digital world – that includes cyberflashing such as all those unsolicited dick pics – as well as the widespread use of her images on pornography sites, escort services, dating apps, sex chats (“Ready for Rape? Role play now!” with her picture alongside it). However, the book also shines a light on the dark online men’s spaces, what they’re saying, the “games” they’re playing. “I wanted to show the reality of what men are doing,” says Davies. “People will say: ‘It’s not all men’ and no, it isn’t, but it also isn’t a small number of weirdos on the dark web in their mum’s basements. These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.”

  • @Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net
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    1 day ago

    However, it’s mainly boys/men with this problem and they’re having issues dating or with school and everything and blame it all on their Chinese parent.

    Yeah that touches on a related problem, the fact that we’ve designed society to be anti-social.

    • You can’t easily hang out with friends, because they’re half way across the city/state/etc.
    • Nobody has consistent free time due to the enormous energy and time requirements for a financially stable life if you can even have one.
    • There are no third places to meet people
    • Cars divide everything with highways, busy roads, and slow traffic.

    It’s incredibly hard to have a social life, and as a result people lash out. And they tend not to care about if the thing they lash out against is the correct thing to lash out against.

    And it’s a self feeding cycle. Because men tend to lash out in the form of right wing populism, and any woman who knows anything will steer clear of that nonsense. So it feeds into itself.

    In your case it’s self hatred racism, but it’s driven by the same forces.

    • @bradboimler@lemmy.world
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      91 day ago
      • Cars divide everything with highways, busy roads, and slow traffic.

      I’m glad you pointed this out. I realized how isolating cars are after moving to a walkable neighborhood. I’m convinced walkable neighborhoods foster community.

      • @futatorius@lemm.ee
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        17 hours ago

        I’m living in a city in England that’s very near the 15-minute city ideal. I know my neighbors from at least a dozen nearby households on my street and adjoining streets, mainly from the nearby park, the pub, cafes and dogwalking. I’m very near the point of getting rid of the car, since I only use it about once a week and could use public transit for those occasions (it’s not perfect, but also not bad and slowly improving).