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@Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 3 months ago

I tried THIS and it actually works all the time

lemmy.world

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I tried THIS and it actually works all the time

lemmy.world

@Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 3 months ago
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  • Ich mal das
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    79•3 months ago

    • Enkrod
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      13•3 months ago

      Die Welt braucht mehr von dir 🤩

    • @SomGye@dormi.zone
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      9•3 months ago

      I love this 👌

    • @Quadhammer@lemmy.world
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      2•3 months ago

      Shitty water colors younger cousin

  • @Spezi@feddit.org
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    52•3 months ago

    • @BearGun@ttrpg.network
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      9•3 months ago

      That’s a kingly gift right there, gotta be expensive af

    • @jade52@lemmy.ca
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      8•3 months ago

      I hope they ended up getting married.

      • @Spezi@feddit.org
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        5•3 months ago

        I heard they had a cheesy wedding

  • @ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    36•3 months ago

    thank god you circled it, I wasn’t sure what was being pointed at

  • @OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world
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    30•3 months ago

    You may fascinate online audiences by showing them the same pic of cheese quote 9 billion times per week.

  • @shani66@ani.social
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    23•
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    3 months ago

    What kind of cheese? That changes the outcome for me significantly.

    • @musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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      22•3 months ago

      A piece of brie get you a one night stand, a slice of gouda gets you a date. Grated parmesan gets you a hand job. A steady supply of varied cheeses spread out over multiple months will get you a wife.

      Of course every woman is different, but in general the age and quality of the cheese determines what you’ll receive in exchange.

      And in case you’re wondering, a kraft single gets you a slap in the face.

      • @Sergio@slrpnk.net
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        12•3 months ago

        Source: experimental investigation.

        • @CaptnNMorgan@lemmy.world
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          3•3 months ago

          This really deserves at least 3/4 the amount of upvotes as the one it’s responding to

      • @SamB@lemmy.world
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        2•3 months ago

        Let’s talk about some aged goat cheese directly from Tuscany.

  • Rhaedas
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    18•3 months ago

    Are these in order? So stealing her shoe and a hairpin with hair in it, and then when she confronts you offer the cheese as a diversion?

    • @Sergio@slrpnk.net
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      8•3 months ago

      You have found the new movie plot that Hallmark has been looking for.

      • Pennomi
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        7•3 months ago

        I was thinking it would be one of those mangas with really really long names:

        “I Cast 99 Spells to Make Her Love Me, But the Only Thing That Worked Was Cheese!”

  • 74 183.84
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    14•3 months ago

    Duley noted. This may work better than my method of crying and begging for affection. So far, zero percent success rate

    • @stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de
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      5•3 months ago

      Maybe you need to cry even harder?

  • @RidderSport@feddit.org
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    10•3 months ago

  • @owenfromcanada@lemmy.world
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    9•3 months ago

    You may fascinate just about anyone by giving them a piece of cheese.

  • Muad'dib
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    8•3 months ago

    White people love cheese

    • @boonhet@lemm.ee
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      4•3 months ago

      Do non-white people not love it?

      • Muad'dib
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        3•
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        3 months ago

        They do. But you give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, he turns into Mr Rogers

    • Noxy
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      2•3 months ago

      Grandad, you can’t tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese

  • @Etterra@discuss.online
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    8•3 months ago

    This spell has mixed results with my fiance; she LOVES cheese but is horribly allergic to it. Not life-threatening, but painfully bad.

    • @notabot@lemm.ee
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      12•3 months ago

      According to the book, there’s no need for them to eat it, you just have to give it to them, although I think they may have mixed up ‘fascinate’ and ‘confuse’.

    • @Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de
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      4•3 months ago

      Is she allergic to it because of the lactose? We can already make vegan cheese that’s the exact same as real cheese (literally, I don’t mean it just tastes the same) except that it doesn’t contain lactose. There’s a company in Europe that’s ready to mass produce it but the EU is taking their time with giving them the permit to sell it. I don’t know how the situation is where you live.

      • mosiacmango
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        3 months ago

        Cheddar, swiss, goat and parm tend to be very low lactose based on how they are made too.

        Likely not low enough for someone with a bad allergy, but mostly fine for run of the mill lactose intolerance.

  • meowmeowmeow
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    6•3 months ago

    Cheese is good

  • @aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    5•3 months ago

    Fascinate in the sense that she’ll spend the next five minutes confused as to why you gave her cheese.

    • @toxoplasma0gondii@feddit.org
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      4•3 months ago

      Might be the wrong kind then.

      • @aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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        5•3 months ago

        My cheese wasn’t Gouda ‘nough?

        • @PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world
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          2•3 months ago

          That joke was sharp. ._. hehehe

  • @Whelks_chance@lemmy.world
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    5•3 months ago

    I love the ambiguity of what you’re supposed to throw in the river

    • @maniclucky@lemmy.world
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      2•3 months ago

      I love what appears to be a citation.

  • TheProtagonist
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    5•3 months ago

    Fun fact: I almost lost a GF once, due to a lack of cheese (in my refrigerator).

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