I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters, I mean it’s probably a testament to the writers but I overthink… a lot.
This question was bright on as I’ve been catching up on The Blacklist and at lunch today watching Season 8 Episode name “Anne “ and it wrecked me.
Tap for spoiler
Basically the main character Red has to live a guarded life and for once he let it form and got close to Anne and you could tell shit was going to go downhill and it destroyed me when you think about it from his or her perspective.
For reference I’m 41 year old dude, not that it matters.
Edit: Bedtime for me but back tomorrow to reply to all.
Edit 2: I’ve got 41 comments to respond to. Currently working but I’ll be back y’all.
Very rarely, but I have a few times.
C’mon C’mon starring Joaquin Phoenix and a 12 year old kid made my ball my eyes out.
Yup, i do this too - my personal highlight was crying at … Wall-e, when he thinks that Eve died.
I’m over 40, and this started 10 or 15 years ago, when i started to go to therapy a lot more.
But i think it’s great to be able to live and feel with imaginary characters, and a sign of empathy.
Yep. I’m a reasonably masculine-presenting guy and most good movies or shows will make me tear up at some point, it’s a standard occurrence if the story has grabbed me in any satisfying way and brought me on the resulting emotional highs and/or lows.
We joke around about it in my household because my wife is a mostly femme-presenting woman, but she generally doesn’t tear up at films or shows while I’m next to her having what old stereotypes would say is the girly reaction. It’s not that she isn’t experiencing the story as fully or anything, she can be enjoying something just as much as I and the emotional reaction just affects us differently because (gasp!) we’re two different people.
Yup, all the time. To give an example, yesterday I watched DC League of Super Pets with my child and cried quite a lot at one bit (if you’ve seen it, you probably know which bit). It’s a solid movie overall too - great voice cast.
It’s not unusual for me to cry when reading or listening to the news.
I’m 41 too, but a woman.
I tear up at most movies. It’s not a sad movie, but Everything Everywhere All at Once holds the current record for most cries.
Generally if a movie doesn’t make me tear up at least once that’s a bad sign. At the same time I don’t gravitate towards tearjerkers, they can feel emotionally manipulative and heavy handed.
I almost never cry for TV shows or books.
i can cry on demand by recalling a certain moment in that movie
I rarely cried when watching shows of movies for most of my life… then I started transitioning and taking estrogen. Now I cry so easily it feels like a joke. But I love it.
The older I get, the more I don’t give a fuck and just let go. Interstellar - when Cooper is watching messages from his son… Gets me every damn time.
if i get triggered i will have a full body cry that lasts an hour and ill just be sitting there in the seat after the lights come on soaked in tears unable to move it’s really embarrassing thanks pixar you fucking asshole
Me, alot actually. If your movie made me feel nothing it probably sucked. If it actually managed to make me cry it’s probably a pretty good movie.
Yeah buddy, it’s normal to feel your feelings.
I wouldn’t say it’s normal but it definitifly should be.
I guess I grew up with people without feelings as when I raised with this my closest friends (5), none of them admitted to it. I know they could lie but I also don’t know how invested they get in to media.
They might be, they might not be. It’s entirely possible that they don’t interact with any media that contains emotions past shooting a gun. I’ve cried to music, movies, and books. Art (paintings, sculptures, etc) I’ve never had that reaction.
I think you’re on to something about them not really focusing on the same kind of media I gravitate towards, complex characters with a moral grey area.
Trying to think if I’ve cried over a book, the most emotional I can recall is the Steig Larsson millennium trilogy, but not sure if I cried was more psyched up for the story.
Art. Never, music lyrics yes but not musical pieces like classical which I listen to a lot. Going to try opera soon so maybe there. I can see people crying at art but I don’t think I understand art enough to even get to that level of emotional connection.
I cried reading about Opportunity. Not losing one or the lack thereof.
The Mars Rover.
Also the Wikipedia article on the Miracle on the Hudson. No I haven’t seen the Tom Hanks movie nor do I plan to unless I really need an ugly cry.
Growing up, I’d occasionally tear up over a sad movie.
Now that I’m older, I seek out movies that tend to be depressing and tragic. Watching them alone let’s me express a level of empathy or grief that is almost therapeutic. Most mainstream movies that are deemed sad may still only get me to slightly tear up like the past. But I’ve encountered enough indy or slightly lesser know films that fly under the radar and they make me ugly cry.
Being in a vulnerable mindset kind of helps because there are moments where I could probably fight it mentally and hold back my reaction. But if I allow myself to let go, then it’s full on sobbing.
Recent movies that had that effect on me are Drawing Closer, and How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.
It’s not always empathy, somethings its a personal element where I relate to someone on screen and I use them as a conduit to express the emotions I might normally suppress or stoicly ignore.
I don’t usually cry during movies. But sometimes later when I’m thinking about it I let out a tear or two. Also I cried during a voyager documentary
I’m a dude in his 40s. If anything, I’ve gotten more empathetic and easily moved over the years. I have cried at movies and over books.
Same. For the longest time I was made to believe that crying in front of people was weak. Especially, when those tears came from entertainment. Then I watched Schindler’s List and bawled like a fucking baby at the end when…
Tap for spoiler
Schindler starts pointing out all the possessions he still had, which he could have bartered to save more Jews and the overwhelming support from the ones he did save comforting him.
It fundamentally changed who I was and what I was willing to show emotion for, especially empathy. I found that any movie based on actual events, that ended tragically, would illicit a similar response.
It was only after years of therapy and the support of wonderful people in my life that I learned to feel that deeply for any media with resonating characters. Elon said empathy is a human weakness, but he’s never been so wrong. It’s the only thing that binds us together.
works of fiction never made me cry in my previous gender, but ever since i started estrogen it’s been neat going back and rewatching my faves and seeing how much harder they hit emotionally now
Makes one wonder what is hormones vs a shift of the mind to the other side.
