Tucker Carlson is “fake straight” and should answer questions about being straight.
He does seem very interested in gay sex.
I love this concept. Tucker Carlson just being this closeted gay man, who’s rejected by his own people, and can’t come out as gay. So he just flirts in the worst way possible.
“Yeah? You gay? Yeah? Talk about it! Answer all the questions I have about what butt stuff is like!”
Meanwhile everyone else is just confused as hell.
Soutpark needs to redo the “Tom Cruise won’t come out of the closet” skit with the Tuckster.
The Tuchus
No one talks more about gay sex than homophobes. I am bi and I think about penises less than Tucker Carlson
How it feels around dudes who see you enjoy a caramel latte instead of drinking it black for some reason. Like bro, some Italian grandma drinks espresso harder than you ever have.
Some Italian grandmas are harder than they will ever be too.
Thicker mustaches, too.
Tucker will confim from his own experience?
No way he would turn down a stallion like me, thought Tucker. He must be faking it!
Tucker’s always there for the analysis.
True, no-bullshit journalism!
If it’s something only a gay guy would know, that’s the only logical explanation.
Tell us what it’s like being a “fake straight”, Tucker.
It’s more likely he’s a real straight, but no good at it.
Definitely gives off some incel vibes, I can see it.
So, what we’re saying is…
he “will be caught buying crack from a gay prostitute going, ‘we were just playing tummy swords.’ And then he’ll deny it going, ‘I did not perform a homosexual act.’ ‘no, you didn’t. Elton John is a homosexual act. You just blew that guy. It’s okay.’” -Robin Williams
don’t google tummysticks lol
I mean if you haven’t seen the weird tucker Carlson thing with a bunch of greased up men in it uh idk man I don’t even remember what it was but boy does it make me not question that he understands what gay is… but uhhhhh it sure sounds like tucker just wants Pete to prove it by sucking his dick and is mad that he won’t.
Hey,
Thanks, and I don’t think I have to watch it anymore!
No, Tucker, he still won’t have sex with you. Not because he’s not gay, but because you are a boner killer.
“I want to know more about Pete Buttigieg’s sex life” says Tucker Carlson.
It fact, this is the thing about queerphobes, they are obsessed with the genitals and sex lives of queer people to the point that they can’t look at anything that involved queer people without thinking of gay sex. That’s why they think sfw material that just happens to have a gay person in it is pornography, because they have sexualised queer people to within an inch of their lives.
How could tucker be a queerphobe when he is positioning himself as an expert on gay sex. I emphasize positioning. Its important.
Bigots of any type believe themselves to be experts on the things they hate.
they are obsessed with the genitals and sex lives of queer people
“But like… Which one of you is the woman???”
Shit I’ve heard people say, unironically. God knows it took a lot of restraint to not berate them down.
My hypothesis is that they just can’t get the picture of a rock hard veiny cock the size of a forearm out of their minds, they’re just so captivated by fantasizing about the meat cannon plopping in and out of their assholes or gagging on it while giving it the sloppiest toppy ever. They know that they’ll be exiled by their community of equally closeted sheep in wolves clothing so they just rage endlessly about it instead of just admitting that they want Thor’s cockhammer to turn them inside out. It’s really pathetic, they should just bounce on their boys fatty until they blast off and leave everyone else alone.
edit: a word
So , a white, cis, hetro male is gatekeeping being gay?
Yeah that tracks.
“I did gay to be cool and popular. President, maybe!”
– not gay PeteWhat a weird take to say out loud.
Tucker sure does know his fan base
I think we are all wondering one thing that Pete might be able to answer.
“When two gay men have sex, how do they know who’s penis will open up to accept the other person’s penis?”
-Dwight Schrute
Angela slowly nodding in the background
What a weird thing to say.
What questions would you ask someone if you thought they were fake gay?
Serious replies only.
how that bussy taste
I heard avocado tastes like peen, and my experience says… kind of
Only when it’s clean
Like a box of chocolates.
Good question!
And who checks the validity of those answers, and who checks the validity of the person checking the answers, but then who checks the validity of the people checking the validity of the person checking the validity, I think I’m stuck, this doesn’t stop
Me. You are now banned.
I think serious replies if the question was serious are not applicable here. This is a millionaire funded by billionaires. He’s not serious, even Jon Stewart got him to remove his usual bow tie after a verbal spanking that would make nuns proud. He has no grounds to be serious, he’s fanning flames for the olichary or whomever pays him to have more power.
I don’t have references for any of this except the crossfire but where Stewart put him in his place. Dude’s confused look seems like he’s surprised at his own farts.
millionaire funded by billionaires
IIRC, he’s extremely wealthy even without his work as a propagandist, being the heir to a frozen dinner fortune.
He just does it for love of the game.
User banned for sillyness.
Be Gay, Do Crime? Explain your crime.
Edit to add: The fashion police have a warrant
“So the penis opens up to accept the other penis right? Does it hurt?”
Yes, a capable politician is going to choose the hardest path to advance his career by claiming to be gay. Like playing US politics on super hard mode.
Nightmare mode would be a black Trans Muslim leftist.
Tucker needs some new masturbatory material.
