I’ve gone my whole life (I’m 35) NOT thinking I was trans but now I do, wtf am I supposed to do with this? How do I find out for sure? Am I allowed to be a trans lesbian because I’m not attracted to men? Can I even come out, when it will ruin my whole life? I’m jealous of the youth, being old sucks.
Hey there =)
It’s nice that you may have found yourself! Despite all the anti-trans programming that you have probably endured in your life (I am in my 30s as well and have transitioned for only a year now, so I might now a bit about it too) you have decided to go the first step towards finding out who you are: Questioning the status quo and the erroneous null-hypothesis, that everybody is cis.
It took me years to accept that I am in fact trans femme and even when I started with HRT, I wasn’t entirely sure until I felt the changes, both mentally and physically.
Well, do you want to be a girl? Then click here: https://turnmeintoagirl.com/ It’s that easy!
Also, I can really recommend Doc Impossible’s blog. A couple of choice entries: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans
https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/part-one-a-webcomic
Absolutely you are.
This one is tricky. I thought it would ruin my life and I thought that people would hate me and that randos on the street would threaten me and… nothing of the sort has happened. Turns out most people are quite normal in the real world in that they do not turn into raging transphobes when they have an actual trans person in their lives. Most people on the street won’t even care. It does of course matter where exactly you live. Trust your instincts to keep you safe. Moving to a more progressive area might be necessary.
I had these exact thoughts friend. Turns out, I was just afraid of being ugly, because I am old. Which is of course a heavy heap of internalized misogyny (aka. women can’t be >30 and be pretty). Took me a while to clean my head of such non-sense and now I think I am quite attractive. For the first time in my life mind you.
Now I have a question for you!
What do you want us to call you? Do you have a name in mind? What do you think would feel good? =)
EDIT: Be warned, the link still makes me cry it turns out haha
EDIT2: Oh, also watch the movie “I saw the TV glow” and see how that one makes you feel :3 Be warned tho. Very emotional.
I can also recommend the “how to figure out if you’re trans” stainedglasswoman article. It’s not perfect because no test will every be able to perfectly capture your gender identity, but when I was trying to figure out whether I was trans or not it was way more helpful than any of the gender quizzes I tried.
(Side note: I hate how many of the “am I trans” quizzes have questions like “Do you consider your gender identity to be different than your assigned gender” and similar. Like, if I knew the answer I wouldn’t have been doing quizzes like that in the first place lol)
Wow what a great response thank you 💜