For context, I’m circumcised and expecting a son and my wife and I are torn about the circ. We’re American so from a cultural standpoint circumcision is the default choice. Thing is, there’s no real benefit besides practicing a religion we don’t believe in, and I’m uncomfortable about cutting the tip of my son’s dick off.

On the other side, I’ve met a guy who was bullied in high school so bad for it he got a circ as an adult. Apparently crazy painful recovery. I’ve also talked to women who are generally grossed out by uncircumcised men. I don’t want to make him feel like something’s wrong with him his whole life because I was uncomfortable with the idea.

From a moral standpoint I’m against it, but from a social and cultural standpoint I feel like I should do it? It’s a crappy situation. If there’s any uncircumcised American men who want to talk about their penis I’m all ears.

Edit: I really appreciate everyone’s responses I never expected to hear from so many people. With the decision hinging on social and cultural norms it’s been really helpful to be able to take the temperature like this. I obviously need to talk to my wife, but given the overwhelming support of dick hats I don’t thing we’re going to do it. Thanks, lemmings!

  • troglodyte_mignon@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    This will be of no help to you OP, but: damn, this all seems so bizarre read from France.

    How likely is it that your kid’s going to be bullied, though? I looked at some state-by-state data (warning: it’s not that recent, and I haven’t checked its accuracy), and it seems to vary a lot depending on where you live. Also, even in West Virginia, where circumcision seems to be the most common, almost one male in ten seems to be left intact. Obviously, I don’t know what I’m talking about, but even if your child ends up being in the minority, he might not seem that strange to his classmates and friends.

  • BurgerBaron@piefed.social
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    3 days ago

    Absolutely barbaric practice. Obviously not in favour of genital mutilation.

    You’d be removing a lot of sexual function for masturbation (now you need lube) and a lot of nerve endings that give pleasure are now chopped off. Dried out numb penis head/gland. Less sliding when having penetrative sex so it’s also worse for women.

    For what? In honor of weirdo American puritan? Kellogg brother who hated masturbation? No,it’s bullying. What a rancid country the USA is.

  • Zetta@mander.xyz
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    3 days ago

    Male circumcision is genital mutilation, and I think it’s pretty gross that it’s still so common. I’m grateful that I’m American and my parents didn’t mutilate my dick when I was a baby.

    I’m glad you’re asking and taking people’s opinions with validity because it’s important that you don’t do that to your baby.

  • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de
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    3 days ago

    IMO circumcision is genital mutilation and that’s always wrong in general. In the very few cases where it actually has health benefits you can still do it later in life, it’s not a big problem. You’re not missing out on anything if you don’t do it.

  • viking@infosec.pub
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    3 days ago

    I’d never sacrifice 50% of the feelings for the sake of a shriveled tip to please some invisible sky daddy.

    Male genital mutilation should be as outlawed as female.

    And… Kids bullying others over their foreskin? I don’t think I ever saw any classmate’s dick in my life. Why is that even a thing?

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Nope. Heavens no. It’s a feel-good part of the body, hell no.

    The only requirement is to keep it clean. Parents shouldn’t shy away from educating your boys about this and have some open conversations about it.

    Might as well ask if you wouldn’t mind having one fingertip shaved off at birth, the difference being you’d know what you were missing because you have the other fingers to compare it to.

  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I have no idea where this American obsession with male circumcision comes from. It is an unnecessary medical procedure that you only share with Jews, but they at least can cite their ancient religion as an excuse.

    Anyone else in the world just shake their heads about this.

  • HexagonSun@lemmy.zip
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    3 days ago

    Nope, never.

    I live in the UK, I’m in my 40’s and I’ve only ever known a single person who needed to be circumcised for medical reasons.

    Beyond medical reasons, which are honestly pretty rare in reality, there’s no need.

    I’ve literally never heard an uncircumcised person express a desire to be circumcised.

  • falseWhite@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Never even crossed my mind.

    women who are generally grossed out by uncircumcised men

    And this must be an American thing, because I haven’t met one and from what I’ve been told, most women find uncirc more attractive.

    And as for bullying, in my school, if anything, the circumsised would have been bullied for having “half dicks”. Not that I ever saw anyone be bullied over their dicks, that’s just fucking weird.

  • Nanook@lemmy.zip
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    4 days ago

    Male circumcision is genital mutilation.

    If it’s your culture, your culture is dumb.

    • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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      4 days ago

      Except it has more upsides than downsides. In fact, except for extreme outliers there are no downsides. Not once in my life had I ever thought “I wish my parents would have not circumcised me as a baby”. From a US perspective, I think it looks better, most women think it looks better, and it saved me from cost, pain, and awkward teen years of waiting until adulthood to make the decision.

      OP, you said it yourself, really. You aren’t unhappy to be circumcised. You know at least one guy in real life who hated not being circumcised. Do you know anyone in real life; not the internet where people with negative outlooks on an issue tend to be the most outspoken, and not from all the other countries with different cultures and norms, but that you actually know that was mad about being circumcised? I work in a field that’s very… Not shy about bringing up things like this. I’ve never met a guy who wished he wasn’t circumcised.

      Nanook can go ahead and call it mutilation, trying to lump it in with a dangerous and sexual pleasure ruining practice done to women in a handful of places, but I’ll hard disagree. Mutilation is “a severe and disfiguring injury.” I don’t see circumcised as any of that, and neither do most people where OP or myself are from.

        • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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          4 days ago

          You’re doing the same thing, but hey, we can both start throwing links at each other to back up our points, if you’d like.

          But you know what, lets just say for the sake of argument neither dick has any medical or hygiene or STI risk differences (because there’s loads of evidence showing uncircumcised people are at a greater risk of getting those)

          I think it looks better, and most people in my country think it looks better. Personal preference? Sure. But personally, we got better looking dicks. The other medical benefits are just a bonus.

          • heyitsmikey128@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            You’re not going to bring up the sensitivity arguments? Foreskin is a natural part of the body, the fact that it’s the norm is meaningless. If we were chopping off the tips of ears or male nipples would there be “no downsides” either? Why not just NOT do the thing? You can’t undo a circumcision.

            • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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              4 days ago

              Sensitivity arguments? Go check Google search trends and tell me if the searches for guys trying to last longer is larger than the searches for lasting too long.

          • Caveman@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            The infection risk only becomes an issue when you’re old. I’m getting circumcised at 70, I’m keeping my dick whole until then. Your dick looks ugly, sorry not sorry.

            Also, I’m happy you like your dick, I’m sure you’d also like it if your parents didn’t remove a piece.

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        3 days ago

        No.

        You are wrong.

        There are literally 0 upsides.

        There are 0 medically valid reasons to fully or partially circumsize a penis that is not suffering from some kind of rather rare, actual congenital malformation.

        The only things you list as upsides are aesthetic, fashion choices, they’re only ‘popular’ where you are … because they are common where you are.

        It literally is a disfiguring injury.

        It signifcantly changes how the thing looks, and works. Thats disfigurement.

        No, it is not as severe as female clitoral removal.

        But, the foreskin has a ton of nerve density in it, comparable to how many nerves your head/glans has in it, as opposed to the significantly lower nerve density on a cut shaft.

        A circumcised XY male person literally is not physically capable of experiencing the same level and variation of sensation, of sexual pleasure, as an uncircumcised person.

        It also removes the ability of the penis to ‘glide’ along the foreskin when inserted, which means it changes how it functions.

        Automatic male circumcision at birth is literally a brutal, nonconsensual method of reducing the pleasure an XY man can experience from sex.

        Thats what it is.

        Thats a cultural norm in the US, mainly, and not so much anywhere else.

        For the record:

        Circumsized guy here, done at birth, then, I learned things.

        The US is a brutal and delusion place by the standards of basically everywhere else.

        We are the weird ones, we are the brainwashed ones.

        We just happen to also make the most porn, and we invented the internet, so our cultural norms have had an outsized importance and level of influence.

        Outside of the US, male circumcision is generally only done by fairly extreme religious groups, and for very rare but actually medically necesssary and valid reasons, like some kind of actual congenital abnormality/malformation of the penis that is present at birth.

        • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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          3 days ago

          You say their are literally 0 upsides, but then you name a couple of upsides. Lol.

          Also, if you want to be a dick about it, there have been several scientific studies done showing that HIV and most other STI’s are significantly less at risk of contraction if you’ve been circumcised.

          • bobalot@lemmy.world
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            17 hours ago

            You realise people can scroll up and read what he said?

            Outside very rare medical conditions, circumcision has zero medical benefit.

  • beejboytyson@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    America has a 90 percent circumcision rate.

    Canada has a 40 percent rate.

    Most of the rest of the world doesn’t do that.

    I’m not letting any stranger cut a piece of my boys parts off.