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dantheclamman@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 11 days ago

Kohler’s new toilet camera provides health insights based on your bathroom breaks

www.theverge.com

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Kohler’s new toilet camera provides health insights based on your bathroom breaks

www.theverge.com

dantheclamman@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 11 days ago
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Cameras have finally found their way into our toilets.
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  • TommySoda@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    There is no reason for a camera to ever be in a bathroom for any reason. And no matter what reason they can come up with there will always be a downside that is substantially worse.

    • Foni@lemmy.zip
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      11 days ago

      There is no reason for a camera to ever be in a bathroom for any reason.

      Porn, the reason ir porn

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        I got kinks I won’t admit to a soul, but human waste elimination is on the opposite end of my horny meter.

        • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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          10 days ago

          So… eating human waste?!

        • pleaseletmein@lemmy.zip
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          10 days ago

          Even for someone who’s into piss, corporate sponsored non consensual voyeur should be a turnoff.

      • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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        10 days ago

        Removed by mod

    • HubertManne@piefed.social
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      11 days ago

      I mean a pinpoint accurate bidet that is assured of 100% clean. It does make me think of that little robot asking rick what its purpose is though.

      • markko@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        That’s what came to mind for me too. Just a spray nozzle responding to immediate input from the camera with no networking and no storage attached. I probably still wouldn’t buy one though haha

    • ☂️-@lemmy.ml
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      9 days ago

      phones

  • toomanypancakes@piefed.world
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    11 days ago

    If I want to take pictures of my butthole I have a camera for that already

    • NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social
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      11 days ago

      This is where you advertise your onlyfans

    • dantheclamman@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 days ago

      They say the camera points down, but that makes me wonder…what about the reflections?? Oh god, the reflections

    • mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz
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      10 days ago

      the only real use for a selfie stick

      • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        Just be careful not to do the phone in the toilet

  • borZ0 the t1r3D b3aR@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Nope

  • Rentlar@lemmy.ca
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    11 days ago

    Adult Swim pioneered this over a decade ago with SmartPipe

    • wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works
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      11 days ago

      And remember, SmartPipe Kohler is definitely not a PDF file!

    • bss03@infosec.pub
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      10 days ago

      For those OOTL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

  • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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    11 days ago

    The part that bothers me isn’t so much that someone came up with the idea that they could sell a toilet camera marketed as a health app.

    It’s that it made it far enough to actually be produced and sold. Which means someone tried to go the route of making it a medical device, was told “No” for some reason or another, but said “you know what, there’s still money to be made here” and they found people that had no problem making it. If they did have a problem making it, I suspect they no longer work for the teams making it. But because it’s here, they found enough people to go “ok whatever.”

    And that’s how we end up with the modern dystopia.

    • PeacefulForest@lemmy.world
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      10 days ago

      deleted by creator

      • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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        10 days ago

        Best part is that it isn’t even a bit.

        People just do this shit all the time

  • DevoidWisdom@sh.itjust.works
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    11 days ago

    $599 intial cost, plus $70 or $130 a year. I’m happy that they are finding really amazing, break through products to offer us. Surely this is the continued excellence we can expect from the ai frenzy. Wow!

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      10 days ago

      $599 intial cost, plus $70 or $130 a year.

      you can get patrons on OnlyFans to examine your poops and make money! Ask me how I made $2000 a month!

    • Rooster326@programming.dev
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      Wait till you get the AI powered shitter.

      • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        That I could go for. It might actually help people with special needs.

        This is just crap (pun intended)

  • beatnixxx@fedia.io
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    11 days ago

    GTFOH.

  • fartographer@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Beep boop. That’s poop.

    - My futuristic robotoilet reluctantly watching me shit in its mouth

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      First solid laugh of the day!

      “Take it! SWALLOW!”

      <sad computer beeps>

      “WHARRGARBL”

  • chickenf622@sh.itjust.works
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    11 days ago

    Of fucking course you need to have their app to get any useful data from it. I certainly trust a plumbing manufacturer to have solid cybersecurity, and there certainly won’t be any data breaches of people’s poop data. When do you think we’re gonna get FOSS poop cameras?

    • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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      10 days ago

      Maybe open a feature request for buttplug.io

    • pleaseletmein@lemmy.zip
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      You’ll have to pay extra for added security measures.

      • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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        10 days ago

        " Mr. Sanchez, before I let you into this country, you need to explain a large fecal mass on September 23 that looks like our Vice President…was this a political statement?"

    • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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      Just wait for the leaked videos of people’s hairy bags and their turds coming out

      • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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        10 days ago

        Not especially useful until the advent of RRC (rectal recognition cameras)

        • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          See the adult swim skit from about 10 years ago

  • HexadecimalSky@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Seeing the comments makes me think, what happens employers start using this sort of texh trying to optimise bathroom breaks or something

  • lurch (he/him)@sh.itjust.works
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    maybe, if we turn it upside down, we can use it to unlock paired phones with sphincterprint

  • Archangel1313@lemmy.ca
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    Ummm…no.

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    Or, and bear with me on this, we could educate people on basic matters of health. Crazy, I know! But what if?

  • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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    I don’t need a video recording of my bathroom habits to tell me I need more fiber and more water. Or remind me that liquid bread satisfies neither.

  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    I recommend this hilarious book instead

    What’s Your Poo Telling You?

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