Video games and hiking are my two major “for fun” time expenditures
I’ve seen too many women complain about dudes approaching them
I hung out in a local coffee shop and met a couple of people, but no women (half the time if there were any there they seemed either much younger or much older … the other half of the time they’d show up and never come back so a cold approach was the only option)
… what the hell am I supposed to do other than use these apps society?
I haven’t seen any good hiking groups in my area. The ones that exist on meetup.com are mostly “people with grey hairs” … and there’s nothing wrong with that other than I just turned 30 last month.
It’s been that way throughout my twenties.
I’d joined a “young professionals” group and was starting to meet some people that way but … it ended up dying out over the pandemic.
Well, I’m sure these grey haired people would be more than happy to hike with you and introduce you (more or less subtly) to the people they have in their life of your approximate age and gender-preference.
As they are older (and not just more stressed) they are still used to help people meet “organically”.
I think I’m just a bit … demoralized about that … since I do know a lot of older folks (I literally shoveled the driveways of 4 older neighbors this winter and have various 50+ friends) and no help has come from that direction…
Is there an outfitter like REI in your city? They often have classes and clubs as well. You could also try something new. Maybe since you like video games, give board or tabletop games a try and go to a local game shop for a game night.
Meet people online via shared interests. I’m not one to tout Reddit, but really engaging in niche communities there gives you wide exposure specifically targeted. Don’t expect immediate results, but it is a valid method.
Yeah … I appreciate the effort but I don’t think that’s a real answer.
I don’t want to date half way across the country or world … or slide into other people’s DMs (which is something girls ALSO complain about dudes doing).
At that point if the answer is “someone’s going to be possibly uncomfortable anyways” I’m better off just doing the cold approach where I can at least read body language.
Not to mention there are a ton of elements of attraction that just don’t work on a forum.
I mean, tell that to my ex-fiancee where it took us a year to get engaged after meeting on Reddit. Then Covid hit and we couldn’t meet. We still talk, years later, but now we’re in “old friends” mode.
Honestly my biggest problem is:
… what the hell am I supposed to do other than use these apps society?
Join a hiking group/club, and don’t do it with the express intent of dating. I’m not saying don’t hope, but don’t because you enjoy the activity
I haven’t seen any good hiking groups in my area. The ones that exist on meetup.com are mostly “people with grey hairs” … and there’s nothing wrong with that other than I just turned 30 last month.
It’s been that way throughout my twenties.
I’d joined a “young professionals” group and was starting to meet some people that way but … it ended up dying out over the pandemic.
Well, I’m sure these grey haired people would be more than happy to hike with you and introduce you (more or less subtly) to the people they have in their life of your approximate age and gender-preference.
As they are older (and not just more stressed) they are still used to help people meet “organically”.
Yeah, that’s not terrible advice.
I think I’m just a bit … demoralized about that … since I do know a lot of older folks (I literally shoveled the driveways of 4 older neighbors this winter and have various 50+ friends) and no help has come from that direction…
I might give it a shot though, thanks
Is there an outfitter like REI in your city? They often have classes and clubs as well. You could also try something new. Maybe since you like video games, give board or tabletop games a try and go to a local game shop for a game night.
Hell even if you go to church, I’ve had a real bad time crushing on people from church. Can’t recommend it
One guy advises “collect micromarriages”, which are like micromorts but for relationships instead of death https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/theres-a-time-for-everyone
I don’t know shit about relationships
Meet people online via shared interests. I’m not one to tout Reddit, but really engaging in niche communities there gives you wide exposure specifically targeted. Don’t expect immediate results, but it is a valid method.
Yeah … I appreciate the effort but I don’t think that’s a real answer.
I don’t want to date half way across the country or world … or slide into other people’s DMs (which is something girls ALSO complain about dudes doing).
At that point if the answer is “someone’s going to be possibly uncomfortable anyways” I’m better off just doing the cold approach where I can at least read body language.
Not to mention there are a ton of elements of attraction that just don’t work on a forum.
But hourslong calls with a Scottish lass? Would you turn down the opportunity to have that in your ear?
Nope, then you get people complaining that “this is not a dating spot”.
I mean, tell that to my ex-fiancee where it took us a year to get engaged after meeting on Reddit. Then Covid hit and we couldn’t meet. We still talk, years later, but now we’re in “old friends” mode.