Yeah unfortunately most of my interests are stuff that are done solo. Im also not sure if those interests became my interests because i have been solo most of my life. Moved around allot as a kid. That’s why I want to bridge out to new things.
I’m at a similar age and have similar interests. I’ve not been successful. I’ve done what others suggest, but not many people are making a genuine connection. Meetup.com ends up being an activity for the meet up and not connection outside. Conventions and gaming makes people get together for the event…but again little interest outside that.
Some of this might be a skill issue. Some of this has to do with how incredibly socially reserved the British are (all my ongoing friendships are with non-British people while living in England, because they’re the ones who will accept invites and meet up again). Some of this has to do with having interests that hardly anyone shares IRL.
I’ve seen posts like this before on Lemmy and people even said they were interested in a chat channel to start a social group here, so I made one and no one joined.
Good luck. I’m interested in reading the other replies you get.
Yeah i so get you dude. It’s funny you bring up being British. I’m half English and have the same problem when I go to cons. Like I went to the local Vintage Computer Festival South West. People were nice but just could never get anyone make the jump to genuine connection.
Being on crutches I think puts it on hard mode. As people ether consciously or unconsciously just don’t want to deal with disabled people. I feel that is less an issue in the UK but in the states most people are down right hostile sometimes to disabled people.
Oh man I was the guy that said “Just go to cons” above but I see what you’re saying. Genuine connections take time.
One way I have really had some luck is just messaging friends I haven’t talked to in a while to check in on them. Most don’t reply but sometimes one does. One guy I messaged after not seeing him in 20 years and now we hang out every other week.
Maybe there is no winning strategy, just gotta be persistent.
Yeah it’s a good plan if you can do it. But with moving around allot I don’t really have those old friends in the area. It’s regretful now but as a teen and up to my early twenties. I was of a mind set I’m just going to move in a few years anyway might as well stick to myself. I was that kid in high-school that just did his work didn’t bother anyone. Then just disappeared without you really noticing him. You might have asked to barrow a pen in class.
Shit dude, that sounds terrible with people giving you attitude for mobility aids.
I haven’t tried clubs (book club, warhammer, etc) and haven’t tried hobby classes.
I’ve had postgraduate formal classes, but that had mature students who had young families that they were keen to get back to (rather than hanging out).
Thanks dude, i will im used to the overtly hostile people. It’s the people that don’t even realize they do it that kills me. Because that’s not them being assholes that’s the systematic bias built by our society as a whole.
Yeah I tried a discord group called Gamers Who Chill: DFW but it tended to skew to collage kids or teens. Didn’t feel comfortable engaging. As i didn’t want to come off like a creepy old dude by talking to kids.
Some games will have younger audience, I really don’t see an issue tbh but their spazzing can get annoying quick
I am not sure what’s in vogue now. But for example elite dangerous used to have a strong community for middle aged cucks. Eve online too I heard
I was able to reconnect with high schools and college friends recently via video games. If you got old friends like that, might be worth reaching out. Everyone seemed settled in a rut and bored now and willing to do it. When I tried it 10 years ago, everyone was busy “living life”
I wanted to give a second vote for discord. I’m in several channels that aren’t for videogames but for my other hobbies, and things like age/gender never even really come up because everyone is there to talk about whatever said hobby is. Then again, I do most of my communication through text and not voice and I suppose that can make a difference when dealing with the younger crowds.
Yeah i do that mainly with the tildeverse IRC channels and while fun to have a quick chat with a stranger it seems for me those interactions never cross the gap to become a genuine connection beyond talking in IRC or Discord.
More i say hi they say hi we talk about a topic then they go away. Like where you talk to an anonymous screen name an don’t know anything about the person behind it. You enjoy the conversation much like how I enjoy talking with everyone on lemmy but that connection doesn’t turn into a connection where im added to an invite list at that person’s wedding or graduation. Like you would with a friend group.
Book club or maybe even some sort of 3d printing meetup? I’ve always found that the people that are interested in those probably would hit the other items on your list.
Pursue your interests in life and people you’re going to hit it off with will be along the way.
Yeah unfortunately most of my interests are stuff that are done solo. Im also not sure if those interests became my interests because i have been solo most of my life. Moved around allot as a kid. That’s why I want to bridge out to new things.
Maybe check if there are maker spaces/repair cafes near you. They are always happy for help.
Hey! you sound pretty cool! :D
I’m at a similar age and have similar interests. I’ve not been successful. I’ve done what others suggest, but not many people are making a genuine connection. Meetup.com ends up being an activity for the meet up and not connection outside. Conventions and gaming makes people get together for the event…but again little interest outside that.
Some of this might be a skill issue. Some of this has to do with how incredibly socially reserved the British are (all my ongoing friendships are with non-British people while living in England, because they’re the ones who will accept invites and meet up again). Some of this has to do with having interests that hardly anyone shares IRL.
I’ve seen posts like this before on Lemmy and people even said they were interested in a chat channel to start a social group here, so I made one and no one joined.
Good luck. I’m interested in reading the other replies you get.
Yeah i so get you dude. It’s funny you bring up being British. I’m half English and have the same problem when I go to cons. Like I went to the local Vintage Computer Festival South West. People were nice but just could never get anyone make the jump to genuine connection.
Being on crutches I think puts it on hard mode. As people ether consciously or unconsciously just don’t want to deal with disabled people. I feel that is less an issue in the UK but in the states most people are down right hostile sometimes to disabled people.
Oh man I was the guy that said “Just go to cons” above but I see what you’re saying. Genuine connections take time.
One way I have really had some luck is just messaging friends I haven’t talked to in a while to check in on them. Most don’t reply but sometimes one does. One guy I messaged after not seeing him in 20 years and now we hang out every other week.
Maybe there is no winning strategy, just gotta be persistent.
Yeah it’s a good plan if you can do it. But with moving around allot I don’t really have those old friends in the area. It’s regretful now but as a teen and up to my early twenties. I was of a mind set I’m just going to move in a few years anyway might as well stick to myself. I was that kid in high-school that just did his work didn’t bother anyone. Then just disappeared without you really noticing him. You might have asked to barrow a pen in class.
Shit dude, that sounds terrible with people giving you attitude for mobility aids.
I haven’t tried clubs (book club, warhammer, etc) and haven’t tried hobby classes.
I’ve had postgraduate formal classes, but that had mature students who had young families that they were keen to get back to (rather than hanging out).
Thanks dude, i will im used to the overtly hostile people. It’s the people that don’t even realize they do it that kills me. Because that’s not them being assholes that’s the systematic bias built by our society as a whole.
Go to cons my guy. Join the tournaments, stand in line. People are friendly just aim for a good conversation and be curious about people
Video games can be very social though.
Have you tried discord communities for any games you like?
Or alternative look for a game with a good community?
Yeah I tried a discord group called Gamers Who Chill: DFW but it tended to skew to collage kids or teens. Didn’t feel comfortable engaging. As i didn’t want to come off like a creepy old dude by talking to kids.
Some games will have younger audience, I really don’t see an issue tbh but their spazzing can get annoying quick
I am not sure what’s in vogue now. But for example elite dangerous used to have a strong community for middle aged cucks. Eve online too I heard
I was able to reconnect with high schools and college friends recently via video games. If you got old friends like that, might be worth reaching out. Everyone seemed settled in a rut and bored now and willing to do it. When I tried it 10 years ago, everyone was busy “living life”
Oh im not sure I can go back to EVE. That consumed my life in my twenties. 😁
🫡
I wanted to give a second vote for discord. I’m in several channels that aren’t for videogames but for my other hobbies, and things like age/gender never even really come up because everyone is there to talk about whatever said hobby is. Then again, I do most of my communication through text and not voice and I suppose that can make a difference when dealing with the younger crowds.
Yeah i do that mainly with the tildeverse IRC channels and while fun to have a quick chat with a stranger it seems for me those interactions never cross the gap to become a genuine connection beyond talking in IRC or Discord.
You mean you hang out with them and they just feel mundane.
More i say hi they say hi we talk about a topic then they go away. Like where you talk to an anonymous screen name an don’t know anything about the person behind it. You enjoy the conversation much like how I enjoy talking with everyone on lemmy but that connection doesn’t turn into a connection where im added to an invite list at that person’s wedding or graduation. Like you would with a friend group.
Book club or maybe even some sort of 3d printing meetup? I’ve always found that the people that are interested in those probably would hit the other items on your list.