• FuglyDuck
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      523 months ago

      fun fact… killing jesus was always god’s plan. god set adam and eve up in the garden specifically so he could LARP as a Nice Guy™. In fact, not killing jesus would have condemned humanity to eternal suffering, and therefore would have been sin. Not that anyone had a choice, because it’s all part of god’s plan, right, and god’s plan always comes to fruition.

      If you believe in that sort of thing.

    • @Delphia@lemmy.world
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      133 months ago

      “Never forget in the story of Jesus, the hero was killed by the state” - Killer Mike.

      • StinkyFingerItchyBum
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        23 months ago

        Jesus, who came back from the dead? Like a zombie? Zombie Jesus is lord. I worship a zombie cult? I need to rethink my life.

        • @flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          53 months ago

          It’s well known that since he came back from the dead but he didn’t decay or lose intelligence or anything, that Jesus was a lich.

          • StinkyFingerItchyBum
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            23 months ago

            Liches decay usually to skeletal levels.

            But it’s a good point.

            I asked Cohere (Canadian LLM/AI) what fits best:

            The mythical creature that best matches the description of Jesus, who dies and returns to life while retaining his intelligence and physical form, is often associated with the concept of a “Resurrected Divine Being” rather than a specific mythical creature from folklore. However, if we look for parallels in mythology, the closest analogy might be:

            The Phoenix

            The Phoenix is a mythical bird that cyclically regenerates or is reborn. It dies in a burst of flames and then rises again, renewed and youthful, from its ashes. This symbolizes rebirth, immortality, and the triumph over death. While the Phoenix is not a direct theological match, its theme of death and resurrection aligns with the core aspect of Jesus’ story.

            Other Considerations

            1. Osiris (Egyptian Mythology): Osiris, the god of the afterlife, was murdered by Set, dismembered, and later resurrected by Isis. He becomes the lord of the underworld and a symbol of rebirth and eternal life. This parallels the idea of dying and rising again, though Osiris remains in a divine, otherworldly state.

            2. Attis (Phrygian Mythology): Attis was a vegetation god who dies and is reborn annually, symbolizing the cycle of life and death. His resurrection is tied to the renewal of nature.

            3. Dionysus (Greek Mythology): Dionysus, the god of wine and fertility, was dismembered and then reborn, symbolizing rebirth and transformation. His resurrection is often tied to themes of renewal and divine power.

            Conclusion

            While none of these mythical creatures perfectly align with the theological specifics of Jesus (who is considered divine in Christianity and whose resurrection is central to Christian doctrine), the Phoenix is the closest in terms of the symbolic theme of death and rebirth. Jesus, however, transcends these mythical parallels as a figure of religious faith, not just a mythological archetype. His resurrection is presented as a unique, divine event rather than a cyclical or mythical phenomenon.

    • LiveLM
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      53 months ago

      They really are the exact opposite of what they preach

    • LousyCornMuffins
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      13 months ago

      If a man says Eat Me some of us take it as permission. Dude could turn water to wine he must have been delicious tho

      • @A_norny_mousse@feddit.org
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        103 months ago

        Even the pope is just a church organ. I meant, his “policy” if you will was more than just his own. It’s doubtful that Vance’s visit (I will run with the idea*) will bring forth a more conservative pope.

        * “Rep. Nancy Mace (…) bizarrely insisted that a visit by U.S. Vice President JD Vance did not lead to the pope’s death.”

          • @flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            23 months ago

            Francis appointed a majority of the voting cardinals. This isn’t a democracy, where people have groups that lobby in any meaningful way- the Pope is the supreme executive. Like a dictator.

            So either he appointed in a stupid fashion, and the next pope is more conservative, or he appointed wisely, and the voters follow him with someone equally progressive in view.

            (Progressive here, of course, is very, very relative.)

            And to be clear, it’s not like, a slim majority. Of the 135 cardinals who will be voting for the next pope, Francis appointed 108 of them.

            Don’t get me wrong- some of those have been quoted as saying some super backwards shit. But statistically, I would put my bet on “around about the same.”

      • @biofaust@lemmy.world
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        33 months ago

        Francis said that judgement should be suspended on gay individuals and theorized a gay cabal in the same sentence. That’s different than being kind to them.

    • FuglyDuck
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      403 months ago

      I’m very afraid that the next pope will be somebody American catholic bishops would approve of. a trans hating, immigrant-hating asshole who will excuse everything Nazi America does like that one nazi pope did historically

      • @Airowird@lemm.ee
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        73 months ago

        80% of the conclave was appointed by the Pope. I doubt it’s gonnabe a radical chnge in the Vatican.

      • @A_norny_mousse@feddit.org
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        73 months ago

        Do you seriously think the Vatican is influenced by MAGA? Or by European far-right elements for that matter?

        It’s no coincidence, no outlier, that the last one was slightly more tolerant on certain issues. (Apparently enough to piss off more than one US christofascist.) I fear MTG will not see God’s plan in whatever follows, either.

        • FuglyDuck
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          83 months ago

          Do you seriously think they’re not?

          Do you really think the cia/nsa doesn’t have compromat? Or that Putin doesn’t?

          Or that rich fucks like musk can’t buy a priest?

          Are you really so confident the organization that made a deliberate effort to protect men who sexually assaulted children is going to do the right thing because it’s the right thing?l

          • @A_norny_mousse@feddit.org
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            43 months ago

            Just to be clear, I’m not defending the Catholic Church here. At all. Just calling out USians who think the world revolves around their country.

            • FuglyDuck
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              73 months ago

              revolves around? no. I don’t think that at all.

              but I do know that roughly 28% of annual contributions come from the US, that the US is fourth on the list of ‘most Catholics’ by total numbers and the vatican would be pretty stupid to ignore those two points. and that is not even coming close to the question of corruption or doctrine.

              Are they going to completely capitulate? probably not, but that doesn’t mean there’s no influence, either. Further, the vatican still opposes trans lifestyles doctrinaly, and Francis was the first pope to emphasize pastoral care over doctrine. It would not be difficult to imagine that conservative voices push back against that shift.

              Thus I’m concerned that the next guy won’t be as supportive of trans as Francis was. Remember, Francis ruffled more than a few feathers with his progressiveness, not just american bishops (who are straight up assholes.)

        • @prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          33 months ago

          You do realize that there will be American cardinals involved in the voting process, right?

          The Pope himself could end up being from the US.

      • @straightjorkin@lemmy.world
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        23 months ago

        Francis appointed most of the college of cardinals, and I find it unlikely he’d appoint someone so ready to buddy with fascism, so we will likely still have a liberal pope.

      • @straightjorkin@lemmy.world
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        53 months ago

        Francis appointed most of the college of cardinals so more than likely we will get another woke pope. Hopefully this one is even woker.

    • @Echinoderm@aussie.zone
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      113 months ago

      But the next pope may be far more conservative than Francis, who by Catholic Church standards was unusually liberal.

    • @Delphia@lemmy.world
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      343 months ago

      How dare you insinuate that JD VANCE KILLED THE POPE, there isnt a single shred of evidence that JD VANCE KILLED THE POPE. Id like to see anyone claiming or even hinting that JD VANCE KILLED THE POPE take their evidence straight to Interpol so that it can be disproven categorically by trained experts that JD VANCE KILLED THE POPE.

    • LiveLM
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      3 months ago

      Can’t lie, if I had to meet that dweeb IRL my matter would start decaying very fast too.

    • @wheeldawg@sh.itjust.works
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      303 months ago

      She hated him because he was at least a little ok with some LGBT.

      I hated him for being the leader of one of the biggest, most corrupt organizations ever to exist on the planet.

      We are (fucking definitely) not the same.

  • NutWrench
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    333 months ago

    If God exists, then why does he destroy the faith of millions by allowing MTG to live?

    • Carl
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      143 months ago

      Magic the gathering is not that evil. Is it?

  • @MuskyMelon@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Oh face of evil,

    Oh Marjorie Trailer Queen,

    The evil you know,

    Is the evil you’ve seen.

    Oh face of spite,

    A reflection so mean,

    The ugliest sight,

    Is the one you preen.

    Oh face of shame,

    A soul so obscene,

    The monster you blame,

    Is the one you’ve been.