^ ^ (*. u.*) me . . . . . .I bought a guy flowers once and he was beaming with joy
I reckon it’s pretty universally human to appreciate validation in any form.
Yeah, say literally anything nice about me and it makes my day better. And I’m just a regular dude, I’ve got a pretty good life, but compliments are awesome. A compliment complements a nice day really well, and can help to turn a bad day around.
Oddly enough, I also like giving them. It’s all good.
At this point, if someone complements me, my first thought is “Well that’s a fucking lie, they want something”.
Well, lets be honest.
Men in general do not put any (or at least as much) work in their appearance as women. When was the last time you or any man you know took over an hour to get ready because they were doing their skin routine?
There is definitely a significant cultural influence on this, obviously starting at a young age.
But as someone who did put an effort into their appearance during my college days, women did notice.
My niece has been getting heavily into skincare. As long as we’re being honest, most of a typical “skincare routine” is placebo, and some of it is actively counter-productive. I know a few women who have a laissez-faire approach to skincare, and their results are almost as good. I believe that the routine is more about the ritual, and psychic need to try to gain some measure of control in a crazy society, than results.
Boys are wecking their bodies because we have convinced ourselves that looking like Thor is normal
well the recent explosion of barbershops all around my country tell a different story
I need it, desperately. My gf knows this, pays me compliments, and every single one is a core memory for me. Also working out and getting a bit swole means you get a lot of compliments from the boys, which is also nice.
I try and compliment my husband often! He is bad at accepting compliments so I keep trying!
That is awesome! And he doesn’t need to accept it for it to be good for him. Exposure is often highly influential.
‘Guys don’t need validation’?
Bish some girl in the 90s told me I looked good in black and it informed every single clothes purchase I have made since
A PTA mom in the '90s told me she would kill for my hair and I’ve kept it long ever since
… because you wanted to have your hair stolen off your corpse, by her?
What, you just go through life not daring people to try it? His long hair says: “See what happens. I dare you.”
Not quite, but now I think I realize why I’ve got a thing for milves.
Oh is that what that’s supposed to look like conjugated?
You mean pluralized? Yeah, similar for “Smurves.”
I barely even remember a participle, so this error hardly surprises me.
I’ve had women ask me out who had literally never said a positive thing about my appearance a singular time before hand.
Asking me out is a step beyond complimenting my appearance though.
If they were so bold as to ask me out they weren’t afraid of coming off as creepy.
I wish I felt less socially awkward about making positive comments about others appearances.
Total bullshit, I remember a compliment about my hair from 25 years ago
Uh… did you read the comic or are you commenting purely on the title?
I interpret it as “we (men) need no external validation, but it’s nice to get”. However, I argue that we do need external validation and denying that is toxic masculinity.
The title, clearly.
… Why?
Dudes complimenting dudes. It doesn’t have to be weird. If you see a dude in a cool shirt or whatever, just say “hey thats a cool shirt.”
Nice dick bro
lol I told some of my coworkers, “how’re you doing you beautiful man” … they’re like, “thank you for saying that”
of course, you have to have a certain relationship where it doesn’t come off too weird but dudes complimenting dudes should be normalised.
I wonder if dudes complimenting other dudes mainly applies to like “skills”. Like you’re a great fisherman or driver or coder or something. I wonder if those are more typical?
Compliments shouldn’t be boxed into ‘well I can only say them when this happens’ imo.
If you are impressed by something, say something. Everyone loves getting a compliment
Edit: although yeah keep the beautiful comments between mates haha. No judgements, I’ve given “gay” compliments to my best buds to hype them up
lol, well … let me clarify the “beautiful” comment …
so a coworker won “Most Attractive Employee” or something like that, yes it’s a weird company party. Anyways, the next morning I was using it pseudo-sarcastically in front of everyone by calling him a beautiful person in front of everyone. However, my other coworker thought I was talking about him and said “thank you”. However, it made him smile and I just started doing it all the time to my fellow coworkers. I definitely consider them all mates.
What’s funny is that I actually don’t compliment my female coworkers the same way. I feel as though it could be misconstrued and I’d not like that.
Nah bro. I feel you. Honestly, I don’t find that weird at all.
That second guy smiling cause he was called beautiful is exactly what im talking about. Would he have liked to be called that by a chick? Almost definitely. But dudes are so starved of compliments that it coming from anyone is just nice.
But yeah the whole wont do the same to women is completely valid. I’m the same way. I’ll only compliment them if theyre wearing something extravagant and are specifically looking to get complimented.
But women get compliments all the time that are actually advances on them, so I try to limit them so I don’t seem like a creep. Dudes though? We all want to be lifted up so I hand em out freely.
If you really want to make a man’s day, compliment them on their dick.
I do the same at the urinals
Sometimes I get a “yours too” back
Ehm, no, it’s just a dick.
Gotta meet somewhere in the middle. Men stop catcalling women, and women give men more compliments, but men need to stop raping women first.
This is part of the reason why I don’t compliment men. The first part is I’m just shy as fuck when it comes to complimenting anybody and will literally flounder in my mind about whether to say it or not, only for the person to walk away. mission failed
But the other half is not wanting to seem like I’m hitting on a man, because then if he harasses/pesters me, he’ll think he’s justified because I gave him a compliment so obviously I must wanna fuck him…
But yeah I’ll be thinking, “his fashion is so good!” or “that cologne smells nice!” or “I love that tshirt!” but then I worry about coming off the wrong way, so I don’t say anything…
Yeah. We need to teach our boys not to assume somebody is hitting on them and that they are not entitled to a person’s body, affection or attention. Then women will feel more comfortable displaying their feelings and men won’t have to worry so much about missing signs.
I’ve stopped raping years ago!
Dont like the implications of this sentence
The same vein as ‘So when did you stop beating your girlfriend?’
For those of us familiar with QI, I’m sure everyone’s thinking of this bit when you read this: https://youtu.be/uXom0OP3Rwk
Good on you
Women rape men too
I think it would be best if everyone just stopped raping
You’re not wrong! Also not super relevant here. This is like responding “all lives matter” to a black lives matter comment. Well, maybe not that bad, but I hope you get my point.
So men raping women is relevant to the topic of men receiving compliments, but women raping men is irrelevant to the topic of men raping women?
but women raping men is irrelevant to the topic of men raping women?
Uh. Yes.
You are looking for reasons to be upset. Knock it off.
If you must hear me say it: women should stop raping men. There you go. Mission accomplished.
In a vacuum like that it sounds bad, yes. That wasn’t the entire context though. What I do think women raping men is irrelevant to is the topic of women being too afraid to give compliments to random men in fear of getting assaulted. Which is the whole reason rape was brought up in the first place.
Like, the other comment said I marginalized half the population. I do not mean to. I know its an issue and more attention needs to be brought to it because too many people—especially other men—don’t take it seriously at all and can even treat it as a good thing. I just don’t think now is the time to bring it up.
What a great way to marginalize half the population
(I copied this from my other comment, but it was very relevant to this one so I figured I’d say it here too.)
I do not mean to. I know its an issue and more attention needs to be brought to it because too many people—especially other men—don’t take it seriously at all and can even treat it as a good thing. I just don’t think now is the time to bring it up.
We all know that. Go back to Reddit.
I can’t, they banned me for saying punching nazis was a moral good
Completely unrelated but I just want to say you have a good taste in pokemon.
Haha thanks! Zard is for posers.
In this comic, the woman has hair whereas the man just has floppy skin
We don’t need it. We still like it, but we don’t need it.
Well, no. Just because we can survive without it doesn’t mean we don’t need it!
(Though honestly, your reaction was my first snarky thought too!)
That was my thought too. And not a snarky one, but a genuine one.
I remember once, giving a civil smile, while thinking ‘meh’, on receiving a compliment once. Because I felt that the complement was for the sake of complementing, but at the same time, the words were +ive, so I felt the need to respond positively.
