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@Gsus4@mander.xyz to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish • 3 days ago

Putin facing new 'invasion' as 1m-strong antelope swarm destroys Russia's crops

www.dailystar.co.uk

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Putin facing new 'invasion' as 1m-strong antelope swarm destroys Russia's crops

www.dailystar.co.uk

@Gsus4@mander.xyz to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish • 3 days ago
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Farmers in Russia's Saratov region have begged President Vladimir Putin to help them deal with a swarming population of saiga antelopes, which have destroyed crops and contaminated water supplies
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  • @frozenpopsicle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    45•3 days ago

    I think invasion is too strong a term. Maybe, a special operation of antelopes?

  • klu9
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    49•3 days ago

    Are you sure this is not The Onion?

    saiga antelope

    • @Etterra@discuss.online
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      26•3 days ago

      David Attenborough​: here we see the majestic Long Horned Steppe Gonzo placidly grazing.

      • @JoeyHarrington@lemmy.ca
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        18•3 days ago

        Step gonzo, what are you doooooiiiiiiing?

        • @Retreaux@lemmy.world
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          2•3 days ago

  • @einlander@lemmy.world
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    32•3 days ago

    Sounds like they are about to join Australia in loosing a war to animals.

    • @Zidane@sh.itjust.works
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      10•3 days ago

      Yeah too loose and they’ll slip right in

      • @Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world
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        3•3 days ago

        So you best lube up and brace yourself.

  • @joel_feila@lemmy.world
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    26•3 days ago

    Australia lost to the emus Now russia is facing the antelopes.

  • Victor
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    18•3 days ago

    1 meter strong 💪📏

  • Captain Aggravated
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    17•3 days ago

    Remind me. Antelopes: Delicious or nah?

    • AwesomeLowlander
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      30•3 days ago

      Pretty much all meat is delicious cooked right.

      • Sibbo
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        30•3 days ago

        Yes officer, this person right here

        • AwesomeLowlander
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          17•3 days ago

          Mmm… long pork…

          • @Gsus4@mander.xyzOP
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            21•3 days ago

            Great, I searched for long pork recipes and now I guess I’m on a ton of watchlists 😐

            • @P00ptart@lemmy.world
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              7•3 days ago

              You always were.

            • @Breezy@lemmy.world
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              4•3 days ago

              You should look up the foot taco stuff on reddit, if its still there. It was a while ago.

              • @prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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                1•8 hours ago

                https://old.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/8p5xlj/hi_all_i_am_a_man_who_ate_a_portion_of_his_own/

              • @Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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                2•3 days ago

                Best I can do is burger king foot lettice.

          • @somethingsnappy@lemmy.world
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            1•3 days ago

            Speed goat

      • @Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world
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        6•3 days ago

        Except moles. Apparently they taste like shit however you cook em.

      • @MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca
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        2•3 days ago

        EXCUSE-ME?!?!!

        • AwesomeLowlander
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          19•3 days ago

          You’re a bunny, you’re not even exotic meat.

          • @MelodiousFunk@startrek.website
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            7•3 days ago

            Yeah, but they might have Mad Mad Bunny disease. You don’t want none of them prions, dawg.

          • @MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca
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            2•3 days ago

            Tell that to my vet, she treats me as her “exotic pet”

        • @Gsus4@mander.xyzOP
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          6•3 days ago

          yes, even seagulls, apparently https://www.americanoceans.org/facts/can-you-eat-seagull/

    • @LNRDrone@sopuli.xyz
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      7•3 days ago

      Probably delicious when cooked right. Never had antelope, but reindeer and moose are probably in the same pallpark and those are both good.

  • @BlackPenguins@lemmy.world
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    8•3 days ago

    A lot of antelopes about to be mysteriously pushed out windows.

  • @MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca
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    16•
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    3 days ago

    He should consider himself lucky. Next time, it’s the rabbits. Ask Napoleon.

    • @Gsus4@mander.xyzOP
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      18•3 days ago

      https://www.historyanswers.co.uk/people-politics/napoleons-battle-against-rabbits/

      hahahhahahahahaha

      • @Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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        4•3 days ago

        Adding this to the time travel list.

      • @jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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        3•3 days ago

        Why did he run? That’s like the epitome of fluffy awwww

        • @Gsus4@mander.xyzOP
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          3•3 days ago

          Can you imagine? Cynical machoman invader can’t be seen as Snow White :D

  • @Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    16•3 days ago

    One day Oversimplified will cover this on youtube. Just like the pig war and the emu war.

    And he’ll release it right after he covers vietnam. Which will be in approximately 90 years.

  • Lumu
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    11•3 days ago

    My contributions to saiga conservation years ago have paid off.

  • DominusOfMegadeus
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    13•3 days ago

    Everything is going according to plan!

    • @Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      15•3 days ago

      Year 3 of the 3 day special military operation.

  • Hellfire103
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    12•3 days ago

    The Daily Star is really more entertaining semi-fiction than news, but this is still Onion-worthy.

    • Bonus
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      18•3 days ago

      Somewhat less tabloid-y https://www.reuters.com/business/environment/russian-farmers-appeal-putin-help-against-antelope-invasion-2025-06-03/

  • @resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world
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    8•3 days ago

    Guy can’t handle a dozen people handy with steak knives.

  • @bpalmerau@aussie.zone
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    4•3 days ago

    This is needed here:

    https://youtu.be/zQUw9kDXB3k

  • @solrize@lemmy.ml
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    2•3 days ago

    Also, discouraging words are seldom heard there, and in the daytime the skies are cloudless.

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