This is ahorrible idea, you can’t catch ashes in a butterfly net.
You need to use a wood chipper instead of the crematorium. Much larger pieces, much easier to catch.
Idea!
Carbonize the remains and then woodchipper those! They’re basically charcoal so it’s less messy, and they can be caught in a net NP!
Yeah but first you need to flash freeze the body before you throw it in the chipper. Otherwise you’d just create a smoothie.
Every good funeral ends with us all taking pieces of them home stuck in our hair. Taste better than nuclear winter, not as good as volcanic ash… must be marighost
Chad died the way he lived … coating all his friends faces and bodies in a carnal blast of his essence.
coating all his friends faces and bodies in a carnal blast of his essence
I used to want to have my corpse frozen, then loaded into the pilot seat of a fake alien landing shuttle, complete with a computer system and books written in “alien language” that’s really just complicated code version of my will, and pushed off a transport plane to fall somewhere such as Antarctica or Greenland, to be covered with snow and ice for decades before someone randomly found it. Absolute win for conspiracy shit, and would be fun to be a random surprise like that.
I no longer have this plan because 1. I can’t afford it and 2. We don’t really get significant new ice anymore. We just lose old ice.
Everyone I knew will be at the wake. As the first of my friends and family approach the casket, they let out a gasp. The casket is empty. Suddenly, the lights go out. The Space Jam Theme Song begins to play as the room is illuminated with disco balls and a laser light show. The lights reveal my body is swinging from a ceiling fan in the center of the room. Funerals are too depressing, and I want mine to be a celebration of life. No money is mentioned in my will, it is all going to the open bar
elefun
MEMORY UNLOCKED
Lotsa fun :D
Millennial (maybe Gen X too?) funeral in a nutshell.
