I’ve noticed that if I say “I won’t do this anymore at all”, it doesn’t work. But if I say “I’ll only spend this much this month on sex workers, gambling, etc.” I’m able to mellow down. I’ve also noticed some people suggest that moderation doesn’t work and you should try to be as cold turkey as possible.
In my opinion, addiction is a relationship. Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes it’s a nightmare. It all depends on the combination of influences involved.
So, yes, moderation works as long as circumstances allow for it. Depending on the addiction, the bad times can still be pretty manageable. Or not.
In the words of William S. Burroughs, there’s nothing recreational about heroin.
If a person can moderate, I would call it a bad habit and not an addiction. To me, the inability to moderate is what makes it an addiction in the first place.
The issue with moderation is how it requires a rational actor to, well, moderate use or a behavior. At some point during a persons “addiction” the ability to execute control over those behaviors lessens until it eventually breaks. The time table on this varries and for some they may be able to stick to whatever rules they set, however if you ask anyone whose been in this position they would tell you how often their thoughts / emotions were consumed by a phenomenon called craving.
Everything everyone said about each person being different is valid, but by and large, the best way to minimize negative impacts of whatever “addiction” we are talking about (process or substance) is to cease completely.
Harm Reduction Therapy models allow for using/drinking. I attended a SMART Recovery meeting once, it was good, there’s a ton of research in this area. Look for a SMART meeting near you, it’s fascinating. And secular!
Depends on the person, resilience factors, support, access, what the addiction is, etc
Interesting. I found the opposite. I was never very good at moderating.
Smoking was my addiction. Complete cold turkey removes the question from the table. It might suck, but at least you aren’t in a constant battle with yourself over whether you can have a cigarette now, or should wait. Is one more too many? Am I no longer smoking moderately but addictively? I found it was way too easy to slide down the slope on all that. Getting through the day without smoking meant holding fast 1000 times, and relapsing just meant giving in once. I could always talk myself into why a cigarette was okay this time, why I deserved it, how I’d been doing so well…
Cold turkey just shut all that off and I could move forward. Eventually, when I was truly and finally free of the addiction, and was capable of choosing if I wanted to smoke or not, of course I didn’t want to. It has no benefits other than serving an addiction. I never smoke anymore.
Do what works for you. Just make sure it is actually working and not just giving you the illusion of that.
The reason complete cold turkey doesn’t work for some people is that it’s too overwhelming. You get scared by the idea of never having your fix again ever for the rest of your life. That’s so scary and overwhelming that you run back and have a total relapse.
This is why AA has the motto “one day at a time.” If you’ve ever seen that bumper sticker, that’s what it is. They say to just focus on getting through today. Don’t think of it as forever. At the same time, they don’t like moderate, continuing use. So AA basically is cold turkey, but they have an answer to the issue of it being overwhelming. After all they are right. All you ever have to face is today. Tomorrow is a tomorrow problem.
It has to when you’re food addict…
I gone cold turkey with reddit.
Problem is, now I’m stuck with y’all, here on lemmy.
It’s like switching from cigarettes to chickory.
sits on your lap
Why? Whats wrong with us?
I’d like to think as a group, we are a healthier addiction than Reddit. :)
What works for you, works for you.
It may be possible to slowly wean yourself off of these behaviors that are worrying you. If it’s down to once a month, there isn’t as much of a jump to zero times a month, but maybe sometime. And then once it’s been a year, congratulate yourself for that and keep going.
Habits are hard to break and much easier to fall into. But if you are more conscious of these decisions, it all becomes a little bit easier with time.
That kind of mindfulness is a skill that is hard to develop, but your post leads me to think you’re already on your way.
Hi there, ex-smoker here and for me, no there was no moderation. I used a step down method with a vape using less and less nicotine until I was able to completely quit.
…thats moderation.
This person weaned off instead of cold turkey for the same outcome: cessation.
Moderation would be if they still smoked 2 cigarettes a day or a couple times a week instead of 2 packs every day.
yes as @ericatty said, I still smoked that vape like a chimney. I just didn’t have as much nicotine as the months/year went on. I tried the “oh i’ll just have one cigarette” and that resulted in massive failure, and I was back to a pack a day in no time.
It does for many people, because we as humans are continually in a dance between our conscious and subconscious minds.
Your subconscious mind is trying to protect you and trying to help you manage your emotions through those behaviors.
Your conscious mind is seeing a problem with those behaviors and you want to change.
Your subconscious mind freaks out and it clings harder to the things you’re trying to walk away from, when it fears that you will lose them and correspondingly, It’s ability to manage your feelings through these behaviors.
So in the short term, it can help a lot to tell yourself that you do not need to stop, while you gradually worry about reducing.
But in the longer term, it would be advantageous to you to seek counseling. There is an emotional component that is at play in every unwanted behavior, every addiction. The actual addictive act is almost irrelevant. For example a drinking problem has almost nothing to do with alcohol.
Is it really an addiction? What happens to you if you don’t have any money to spend on this? Or, say, for some reason there are no more gambling opportunities or sex workers in your area?
Couldn’t say, since that hasn’t happened yet. But it definitely feels addictive.
It’s not the same (obviously) but it depends.
If I buy a bag of jelly belly candy, I will eat the whole bag until I have a stomach ache, and then eat until the bag is empty. So I buy smaller amounts.
But other sugary snacks? I went cold turkey and cut out all sugar and it was all I could focus on, I craved sugar to the point of being miserable. I bought a bag of chocolates, told myself I could have one a day (like a mini snickers) - what happened will shock!
I ate one a day, and sometimes not even that. Just knowing it was there as an option took away the obsession and I ate overall a lot healthier.
So, yeah, I could do sugar in moderation with chocolate, but not with those tiny jelly beans.
Whatever your addiction is, only you know if you can really do moderation or not.
I know of other people that kept a pack of smokes or a pint of whiskey in the back of a cabinet. Knowing it’s there is enough, and they just keep putting off partaking until suddenly they realize it’s been a year or more and they haven’t thought about it in ages.
If you can keep it at what you consider an acceptable level then it’s fine.
In my case I tend to go from keeping an acceptable level for a few weeks, then one becomes two that becomes three and then I’m back at the original unacceptable level.
You probably need to try to figure it out. I quit porn cold turkey as that was the only way I coulddo it. I have tend to become addicted to caffeine and candy (sugar) if I’m not careful, so I’ve quite those several times. Tried both cold turkey and gradually for those and found that reducing fast and controlled work for those. So going from 5 cups of coffee a day to 2 a day for a week, to maximum one a day for a week to 2-3 cups a week.
I think moderation can work just like cold turkey can work, depends on the level of addiction, addiction, and user.
